21 June 2010

TOP 10 Common-Sense Rules for Fathers (and Moms, too)

By Mark Brandenburg
There are many fairly sophisticated parenting techniques attracting attention. To be an effective father, skip most of them and concentrate on proven, common-sense rules. They may not make you the most popular dad, but they will be effective.

Expect a Great Deal from Your Kids
When kids know you expect a lot from them, they will rise to the occasion. Expectations made clear in a loving atmosphere will let your kids know that you think a lot of them.

Always Be Willing to Be the Problem
When you blame someone in the family for causing problems, realize the situation won't get better until you accept that blaming is making it worse. Love and acceptance will make a positive difference.


Know Your Child's Life Intimately
Get to know all you can about your kids: Their favorite toys and colors, their best friends, their heroes, etc. Showing interest show you love them.


Say No to Your Kids
Kids who get almost everything they want typically aren't very happy. Kids learn discipline, self-control and how to delay gratification when their parents sometimes say no.


Hitting or Spanking Your Kids Doesn't Work
Plenty of studies show kids who are spanked have lower self-esteem. Spanking will likely also increase the behaviors for which you are spanking them. Do you really want your child to be afraid of you?


Treat Your Wife Extremely Well
Your kids get their most important information about relationships between men and women from you and your wife. Make an effort not to fight in front of the kids and try to be kind more often than right.


Action speak Louder Than Words
Many parents threaten their children when they don't cooperate. If you don't follow throught on the consequences, your children will learn to ignore the threats. If certain privileges are taken away, they'll learn quickly you mean business.


Really Listen to Your Kids
Don't just hear their words, learn the meaning behind them. "I'm picking my own clothes," might mean your child wants more responsibility or independence. If you want your child to listen to you, you must listen him or her.


Give Your Kids Responsibility as They Grow
When your kids are young, they may help make their beds and clean their rooms. As they get older, add things to their lists. Explain that everybody in the family helps. If you start them young they're more likely to help when they're older. Don't reward them for things that should be expected of them.


Tell Your Kids They Are Great All the Time
This is especially important when they are not at their best. Be specific; it's more meaningful than generalized praise.


From island family magazine

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